Sunday, April 3, 2011

Bubble Gum Diet???

If you are desperate to lose weight, then you are probably looking for the fastest and easiest way to drop those unwanted pounds.  Ideally something where you don't have to eat icky foods or do any exercise. Don't feel embarrassed, you are just following in the footsteps of millions of others out there who are looking for the weight loss version of the fountain of youth.  Who wouldn't want that?

Thus, you are hungrily looking over the quick promises and fantastic claims of hundreds of weight loss plans coming at you from every direction.  "Lose weight while you sleep!" "Amazing new pill burns excess fat!" "Great tasting snacks that melt away pounds!"  Etc, Etc, Etc!  And of course, because you really want to believe these powerful marketing messages, you choose to do so without actually reading all the fine print or doing a whole lot of research on the concept.

Interestingly enough, most of these so-called plans, even the legitimate ones (not all weight loss programs are scams, many are actually quite successful) have small print that for some strange reason you either don't read, or conveniently ignore.  Something worded like this: "...when used in conjunction with proper diet and exercise".  Now that's important for two reasons. First, its a "get out of jail free card" for the manufacturer, because if the product doesn't work for you they can simply claim that you didn't maintain the proper lifestyle. Second, it reinforces what it really takes to lose weight - the right combination of input (food) and output (calorie burn).

A long time ago I figured out that most of these miracle plans were bogus, but I still get a kick out of reading about them and marveling at their claims.  So much so, that I have this cool idea for a weight loss bubble gum product.  I can make all kinds of claims - Researchers (me and my friends) have discovered that the combination of excessive chewing and blowing bubbles, utilizes key muscles in the facial area, that actually burn calories at a very high rate (notice that there is no specified rate).  In addition, the unique ingredients of the gum curb your appetite when used on a frequent basis (yep - all that sugar gives you a stomach ache.)

I am on a roll now!  What the heck I could use myself as an example - average guy loses 70 pounds while using cutting-edge new pound-busting bubble gum product.  

After all I really did lose the weight, so you can't dispute that and if I just happened to mention that I chewed that special gum (we can call it bubble buster) every single day then there is an implied message that the gum did the trick.  Of course, it was the adjustment in lifestyle and the adoption of new eating and exercise habits that made the weight loss happen, but what the heck, I could slant it anyway I wanted.  And with enough creative advertising, I could probably sell it!  And of course, there will be the fine print (really tiny) that says "when used in conjunction with proper diet and exercise."

Just remember this, if a weight loss program sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  Ideally if you start adjusting your lifestyle to where you can burn off 2 pounds per week, you will be on the right track. (See my e-book.) And if that sounds too slow, just think about it this way.  If you had started a month ago, you would be down by almost 10 pounds right now, without the use of any special bubble gum products...

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